I’m an old-fashioned guy… I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something.
Johnny Depp

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Stephen Wright

One of the hallmarks of the baby boomer generation is that it doesn’t live like the previous generation. It hasn’t yet given up jeans and T-shirts or beer.
Ron Klugman, SVP, Coors Brewing

The roots and herbs beaten and put into new ale or beer and daily drunk, cleareth, strengthen and quicken the sight of the eyes.
Nicholas Culpeper

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry

Alright brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me, so just get me through this exam so I can go back to killing you slowly with beer.
Homer Simpson

Beer of the month club

Oh, lager beer! It makes good cheer, And proves the poor man’s worth; It cools the body through and through, and regulates the health.
Anonymous

Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink. And down it goes. 
Norm Peterson, Cheers

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
Jack Handy

I have respect for beer. 
Russell Crowe

I just want to tailgate, drink beer, and hang out in the middle of nowhere in a pick-up truck. That's my ideal date. 
Ronda Rousey

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry

Rugby is great. The players don't wear helmets or padding; they just beat the living daylights out of each other and then go for a beer. I love that. 
Joe Theismann

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns

In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.
Tina Fey